A New Out Look

I was never a great student, but I was always a good one. I Have always liked school, so I thought that everyone did. I have been subbing for a little over a year and I found that I loved working with the AP kids. The come in and do their work with a minimum of fuss. But lately I seem to be getting the low level classes a lot. Here the kids act-up all of the time, trying to keep them focused is a lot of work. School for them is a waste of time, they don't want to be there and don't understand why they should. These kids annoyed me. Didn't they understand how important an education is? Why do they hate school so much?

I didn't understand until now. I just started graduate school an on-line course. I have never been so lost and confused. I feel that for every step I take forward I am pushed five steps back. I keep missing important information, assignments, so on. For the first time in my life I feel stupid, I don't think I can do this. I want out. But I paid for the semester already, I have put my family in dept. I feel trapped.

Now I think I understand how my non academic students feel, like they can't win, so why even try. I don't know what my future holds, but I do know that this experience will make me a better teacher.