More Test: Chapter 27

The second half of August was to be filled to with more test; like bone scans and X-rays which means more doctor visits. I had another appointment with Dr. O'Brian, it started out just like any other visit to the cancer center; a hunt for a parking space, check-in, write a check, have blood drawn…wait. The doctor came in to the waiting room to get me and we both jogged to her office. She told me that I had healed enough to discuss chemo treatments. Part of me wanted to put this off as long as I could the other part of me wanted to get the chemo over with.
Remember I had stage 1 node-negative cancer, so after the surgery there were not any cancer cells left in my body to spread…in theory, but my doctor wanted to give me ‘just in case’ chemo called ‘adjuvant chemotherapy.’ There is a big debate going on as to whether or not a woman with stage 1 node-negative cancer should even have chemo. The treatment can save some women’s lives, but for others it has no effect, the problem is right now doctors don’t know which group is which, so they want to give the chemo to almost everyone. Breast Cancer Activist Rose Kushner, the woman who did so much to improve Breast Cancer treatment, didn’t like adjuvant chemo and fought against it becoming standard treatment. When her cancer returned after nine rears in remission, she refused the chemotherapy treatment. Many women will go through with the chemo because of the chance that it might help them. Others will refuse the chemo, but will try alternative medicine. Still there are the women who feel that the surgery is enough. Then, there is also radiation
Dr. O'Brian never mentioned radiation, she wanted me to have the chemo, she explained that even though it would be adjuvant chemo, she still recommended it. She told me that since I was doing so well that I could chooses between two different treatments CMF-Cytoxan (cyclophoshamide) methotrexate 5 fluoruracil or CAF, the difference between them is that the drug methotrexate is replaced by a drug call Adriamycin. None of which meant a thing to me. The difference as I understood it was the CMF would be given about twice a month for six months, there would be fewer side effects with CMF, I would feel less sick and I probably would not lose my hair. On the other hand, the CAF would be given every three weeks for three months, I would experience some side effects and I definably would loose my hair.
After our talk it was on to the examination room, I changed in to paper shirt while Dr. O'Brian washed her hands, then she examined me, A light down the throat, a tap on the back…
“Deep breath…” tap-tap.
“Again…” Tap-tap. I was thinking about our conversation, figuring that the chemo was in the future…the distant future, when I discovered an interesting trait about my oncologist. This woman is a person that you would want to play poker with because her eyes betray bad news. She was tapping here-checking there, making occasional eye contact when suddenly mid-conversation her eyes drop to the floor-then she said,
“You have a few weeks to decide about the chemo, I want you to make an appointment for early September.”
“WHAT, I have to decide so soon?”
“Yes, make an appointment for early September.” Oh, well. I guess it was time to use my library training and hit the books.
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It was late August so it was not a good time of the year for a mother to have to make a big decision. After all it was back to school time and there was so much to be done, so many purchases to make; like back-packs and paper, and markers, and lunches boxes and new shoes and clothes. And don’t forget one last trip to the Jersey shore. Who had time to read up on different kinds of chemotherapy, but read I did.
After researching the subject I decided that I wanted the chemo. I mean it’s not that I wanted the chemo, it’s just that I felt I had a better chance of surviving if I had it. Part of the reason that I wanted go through the process is because my mother didn’t.
Evelyn also had node-negative stage 1 cancer, her doctor decided to give her radiation instead of chemo, and then she took the drug tamoxifen. My mother was more afraid if the chemotherapy than she was of the cancer, I remember how happy she and my dad was when she was told that she didn't need it. Nobody knows if she would have lived if she had been given the chemo, I only wished that she had tried it. I decided that I wanted to use any and every treatment available; I was not giving up without a fight.
My sister Valerie sent me a booklet that she found on chemo. Being that she is in to New-Age stuff and alternative medicines I expected that the booklet would have me injecting some flower extract, or something equally as strange. I was wrong, the booklet she sent explained why a woman should consider adjuvant chemo, and that women that go through the process increase their life span on the average by 5% …I'll take it.